[Le Corsaire Noir] Mémoires de Le Corsaire Noir
Jul 28, 2017 17:52:24 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2017 17:52:24 GMT
[July 25th]
(All entries written in French)
First full night at sea after all these centuries and another old habit returned to...writing in a journal. My thoughts, my desires, my struggles.
The sea is calm this evening with a slight breeze. Rene is on the bridge planning with the Chief Magical Officer. My phone has disappeared as I have recently noticed. I have no way of reaching out to Aisha. To know if she is safe. To hear her voice.....her angelic Hindi voice. I do not worry for myself. I worry for her and her alone. Where is she right now? What is she doing? Who is around her? Did she go to Mary and Exo? Did she go to the Tremere? I just hope in the end that she is safe and protected.
I find myself not able to be angry at Rene and I want to be. He took me....again! The changes he well his butcher has done to me, I do not recognize myself and how could Aisha? Would she look upon me now and be disgusted? My voice does not even sound right to me. If she heard me now would she turn away from me....see me as the true monster I am now that the butcher brought the monster above the skin. That is what I see when I see my reflection. The monster in the mirror now has a face. AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But yet I fall back to doing what my captain states. A smile on this face. The memories of centuries past flooding my mind. Drowning. The man I am is slowly being pulled down below the waves and The Black Corsair is growing stronger, even my speech is changing. I am beginning to revert back to the way I spoke centuries ago. But at the same time of this battle within I find myself enjoying more and more the ways of old. The shanties have started. The drinking the crew does, I......I need to find a way to focus.....to remember the man I am now and......what was I saying?
The haze, the maelstrom is so strong. I...I need to find a way to get something out to Aisha. To let her know I am okay....I could never say fine. Not with what has happened to me. Forgive me, I am going down another rabbit hole. Restaurant....yes Aisha's favorite restaurant. Hopefully perhaps I can run into her there and slip the black cross to her. If by a miracle I can do this in London when we make port I can least let her know I still live.
But at the same time I do not want her to look upon me. I am hideous. I am no longer David Alexander. I am the monster in the mirror.....The Black Corsair!
(All entries written in French)
First full night at sea after all these centuries and another old habit returned to...writing in a journal. My thoughts, my desires, my struggles.
The sea is calm this evening with a slight breeze. Rene is on the bridge planning with the Chief Magical Officer. My phone has disappeared as I have recently noticed. I have no way of reaching out to Aisha. To know if she is safe. To hear her voice.....her angelic Hindi voice. I do not worry for myself. I worry for her and her alone. Where is she right now? What is she doing? Who is around her? Did she go to Mary and Exo? Did she go to the Tremere? I just hope in the end that she is safe and protected.
I find myself not able to be angry at Rene and I want to be. He took me....again! The changes he well his butcher has done to me, I do not recognize myself and how could Aisha? Would she look upon me now and be disgusted? My voice does not even sound right to me. If she heard me now would she turn away from me....see me as the true monster I am now that the butcher brought the monster above the skin. That is what I see when I see my reflection. The monster in the mirror now has a face. AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But yet I fall back to doing what my captain states. A smile on this face. The memories of centuries past flooding my mind. Drowning. The man I am is slowly being pulled down below the waves and The Black Corsair is growing stronger, even my speech is changing. I am beginning to revert back to the way I spoke centuries ago. But at the same time of this battle within I find myself enjoying more and more the ways of old. The shanties have started. The drinking the crew does, I......I need to find a way to focus.....to remember the man I am now and......what was I saying?
The haze, the maelstrom is so strong. I...I need to find a way to get something out to Aisha. To let her know I am okay....I could never say fine. Not with what has happened to me. Forgive me, I am going down another rabbit hole. Restaurant....yes Aisha's favorite restaurant. Hopefully perhaps I can run into her there and slip the black cross to her. If by a miracle I can do this in London when we make port I can least let her know I still live.
But at the same time I do not want her to look upon me. I am hideous. I am no longer David Alexander. I am the monster in the mirror.....The Black Corsair!